A Midnight Dream for Summer

Oi vei. I am lost. There’s so many paths to choose from. I am stuck in the middle weighing pros and cons of each direction as time draws to a close. I must choose a path, but much will be lost. I know the school-year for my senior year will be fun, but summer will be one angry bitch to deal with. I think I’m one of the few students who actually wishes there isn’t a summer vacation for this year.

I want to get a job. I want to see my dad. I want to go on a bike trip. I want to get my license. I want to go on retreats and parties and camping trips. I want to go fishing. I want to attend CTs and HCs and Cells. Everything overlaps one-another, and I can’t do everything, or hardly anything without conflicting with something else.

It’s been five years since I’ve seen my dad. That means I haven’t seen him since I was twelve years old. He has missed my teenage experience. He calls every now and again, but sometimes it takes over a month for him to call again. I’d call him if it wasn’t for major long-distance phone bills that I’d be scolded for. The problem is that he lives in Alberta, Canada, so a trip of such extent would last at least two weeks. It’d be a waste (as stated by my mother) to just go for a week. It would take a nice chunk out of my summer, and possible any chance of getting a job would be lost asking for so much time off.

My other alternative is to get a job and raise some money. I need a means of transportation, especially since the senior guys will be leaving next year with their cars. If not a car, at least money to support those giving rides so that they won’t go broke wasting gas on us. I have a few opportunities, and so within the next week I’m going to start going into action.

Biking. Oh wow. I love it. It’s not a problem. It’s a great escape. It’s also an awesome chance to have solitary thought. Getting out of the house and into nature is one of the most beneficial things for me to experience. I absolutely love to hear the birds chirping and the wind blow across my face. I never have grown tired, but then again I haven’t gone on a full ride. Each time I do something happens to make me stop. Not that I’m saying organizing a prayer meeting is bad, but a bike accident is. I just can’t wait until the first Sunday after school lets out. I’m going to go for an all day ride. I still need to make preperations, but I’ll be ready for it.

There’s so much to do with so little time. All I can do right now is plan for the future. I need to get a job, but in order to do so I can’t see my dad. This is tearing me apart, but the fact that it’s not my last summer is what’s holding me together.