Does There Really Need to Be One (title that is…)?

I’ve been feeling gloomy all day today, and I can’t figure out why. Last night’s teaching was amazing (a lot of shocking similarities in that teaching with myself….but that’s not the now), and the Kent Rec. was cool as well. I think what’s taking me down is what my mother said to me a few days ago.

“You loan from friends, you lose your friends.”

And at first I was denying it: “yeah, like they would do that,” but then I started thinking about how I would feel if somebody kept hitting me up for loans, even if they pay me back I’d start to get annoyed and not want the “loaner” around.

But then I realized: “hey, what the hell am I supposed to do? I never have my own money, I’m always trying to borrow from somebody…” I thought immediately job, because of the definite formula:

job = money

The thing is though, I’ve been in the process of filling out applications, but once again I need to borrow a ride (sorry Dodd) to get the applications and to drop them off. Now that I’ve realized my problem with my friends (among other issues), I loathed the very thought of borrowing anything from them.

Like Job said: “I came into this world naked, and so I shall depart from this world the same.” And as Keith was saying “we spend our lives building up this ‘wealth’, only to leave it behind,” so why is it such a demanding factor that I recieve more and more “temporary wealth?” I have a roof over my head, a fridge with food, and a faucet that dispenses clean water….but that’s never enough. Not according to the Kosmos.

So this is it, I’m not going to borrow from my friends. They earned their money for themselves, and for them it shall be.

I know what must be going inside the minds: “pssshhhh……yeah right Jon, you couldn’t last a week without borrowing even a dime.” Well, we’ll see.